Blah, I super hate reading grumpy posts so if you're like me you may want to tune out on this one. I just need a little time to vent, get it all out, and move on and what better place to do it than here?
This week has just been crap from day one. Monday I got back from vacation only to find that not one single person covered my desk and I am now swamped! We had training on how to do every state's affidavits so I'm not understanding why they couldn't of been handed out to the team for just one week, I don't think that's too much to ask. Seriously almost in tears, and you know why? Because I freakin care! I care that these things have just sat there for a week since I was gone. I felt like I couldn't take vacation because no one can help me out, and it felt like crap! Luckily I have the best daughter on the planet and she was still able to make me smile that night.
Rewind to the week before I went on vacation. We were told we have to do mandatory 5 hours of overtime a week. So now, I'm working from 6:30 to 4 and I wouldn't be complaining, except for the above mentioned kiddo I have to take care of. I really do not enjoy trying to rush out of the house to try to drop her off at the sitter's by 6, only to not be able to pick her up until 4:15. By the time I get home I only get to see her for 90 minutes until it's bedtime.. but hold that thought... As of yesterday we are expected to work 8 hours of OT! EIGHT!?!?!? So that would basically mean I would need to work 3 - 10 hour days and 2 - 9 hour days, which then in turn means that on my 10 hour days I would see Kimber for 30 minutes... The 30 minutes it takes to do her night-time routine. I'm sorry, but I have a pretty big issue with that.
My job is no longer my life. I enjoy what I do and give my all while I'm there, however, I think taking 40 hours a week away from my kid is enough. Please don't make me give up 8 more hours a week with her! I love her way too much. That's 8 hours of hugs and kisses, discovering and exploring, playing and snuggling and I don't know that I can give that up.
Now for the part that makes this all even that much worse. The part that made me cry last night. I had an opportunity to get out of this department.... and I turned it down... Bottom line, momma needs a raise. We're doing just fine right now, but if I want another kid in the near future I need a bigger raise than the annual one we get so I was going to switch departments, get more money, and it would be a win win. They didn't offer me more money, and thus, I turned the job down. I know it was the right thing to do because I would of been stuck in the new department for a year making the same amount I do now, and to be honest, I really do like my job. Even knowing I made the right decision, now it seems so wrong to of stayed. Now that they are taking away time with my family, which to me is worth more than any amount of money.
So that's where I'm at right now, it's not pretty, but hey, no one said being a working mom would be pretty! Fingers crossed things will work out because I don't know how I'm going to be able to juggle all this...