Shower Ideas!

My friend from high school is expecting her first kiddo in a few months and I'm honored enough to throw her a shower in a few weeks! I'm on idea overload! I keep going back and forth with what the decorations are going to be. I'm loving poms and pinwheels right now, but I may do something totally different. Who knows!

First, I need to show off the invitations since everyone should have received them by now.

Finished product.

When it's unwrapped...

Upon opening the box...

Contents.

I made these puppies in Photoshop and then had Kinko's print them out for me. Cutting was a pain but totally worth it! I love how they turned out!

I've been searching on Pinterest for shower activities that aren't the standard shower games. I think they are kind of boring and I want to do something different. Man do I have a TON of ideas now! I don't know how I'm going to decide what to do so maybe the few people that read this can help me out!

First, she's not finding out the gender so I want to do this tally board:

Then I thought this would be cute to go in the baby room and have guests guess the birthday:

I also thought this was a cute idea, but might be a bit difficult since they would need to be gender neutral:

Of course this would be neat too:

Guestbook will consist of a Dr. Seuss book for the guests to write a note in:

 I LOVE this idea. Print a card for each guest with a number on it and the guest writes a note to the kiddo for the mom to give on their birthday. For example, if I get 10 I'd write a note to be given to the little one on their 10th birthday:

This would be cute too. Have a guest color a letter of the alphabet and write a note on the page and then make an 'ABC' book:

I wish I could do them all, but I don't want to throw the guests into an activity overload! Plus I don't know that'd we would realistically have time for everything. Ugh Pinterest, your wealth of ideas has overwhelmed me once again! I won't even get started on favors! :)

The 2 P's

Photoshop & Pinterest are my addictions!

Recently I created our Christmas cards:

Front

Back

Nothing too fancy yet. Mainly I've just been playing around with brushes and fonts, because right now I just don't have time to figure out how to edit my own pictures. I've also created 2 shower invitations, but I can't show them just yet... I've seriously considered perfecting this and possibly selling them on Etsy, but then I quickly realize that I honestly don't have the time.

Some of my Pinterest crafts:

Headbands for K's 12 month photo shoot.

Halloween cards for the cousins.

Halloween costume

Wall decor.

Our house is finally completely painted so I can finally start decorating! We have a few small things to do and then the cabinets and floor and the main floor will be DONE! Then, it's on to the basement!

Does time heal everything?

Well it's been a year, and reading my birth story still makes me cry. I'm sure most moms would say the same, however, most moms have tears of joy. I am not most moms...

Honestly, it still hurts.

Honestly, I'm still mad.

Honestly, I feel like I will never fully get over it.

Honestly, I feel I am scarred for life.

Remembering. Remembering makes me want to forget. Forget what though? It's not like I remember holding my precious daughter for the first time. I can't fondly look back on the memory of how I felt when I finally met my bundle of joy. I do not have any idea how she smelled, what I said, what my husband said, or what I thought. Nothing. I want to forget that I don't remember.

That is what hurts me the most. Not remembering. I was there, I am her mom, I should remember! How can you not? It's one of the biggest moments in a person's life! I feel like a horrible mother for not remembering. For thinking back a year ago and shuddering at the thought of my labor and subsequent infection. How can I have such negative thoughts about such a glorious day?

Then I think... If we have another baby, and I do remember their birth... that it will only remind me of what I missed out on before.

I've kinda been a bit busy....

- I started my new job at work almost a month ago and I'm still lovin it! It's a little strange right now because I don't think my team knows exactly what I'm going to be doing so I'm worried they may not like me... I'm going to be auditing their work... yikes! I've already made a new spreadsheet, or rather, re-vamped the one that the lead was using, and now I'm just trying to work my butt off to prove myself.

- I've been working on getting the house (or at least the main floor) done. I've added some decor and painted a few more things. We only have a couple more big projects to take on and my goal is to get it all done before Christmas! We'll see if it actually happens, but so far this week I've worked around the house every night except for last night. I've even started making lists for weekend chores, so we don't say 'oh we need to do x,y,z' and nothing ever gets done.

- I'm going to a chiropractor! The last time we were at the lake I thought I just slept funny because the next morning my back hurt. Well after a month of not being able to bend over I decided I should probably have it checked out. Turns out my lower back pain is because of muscle spasms and inflamed muscles, but he also found a few more things. My left hip is rotated back and my right hip is rotated forward, making my left leg shorter than my right, and my left shoulder lower than my right. My ribs are popping out of place where they meet my ribcage, and I've got a nice little curve going on at the base of my neck. Whew,  to think I thought my only problem was my lower back! :) I should be good as new by February though and I'm more than looking forward to it!

- Kimber met Dr. Young a few weeks ago. Is it bad that I miss my gyno? Shockingly, she let him pick her up! Normally she isn't too keen on strangers, but maybe they have a special bond :) As we were leaving he gave her her first sucker, I think they are going to be friends for life over that sucker!

- Speaking of Kimber and doctors, she had her blood drawn last week. It went better than I would of hoped. She was more mad at the fact that we were holding her down than at the needle. She was actually the most calm when she was being stuck! I'm telling you, you can't make her do anything... she's going to do what she wants to do or someone's going to pay :) I think I'm going to be in big trouble through the teen years!!!

- And lastly, and really the biggest reason why I've been so busy... I am now a mother to a TODDLER! haha

FOO FIGHTERS BABY!

I have a confession... I am in LOVE with Dave Grohl, so when I heard Foos were coming to STL I was allll over it! Seriously, most epic concert of my life!

The opening bands aren't even worth wasting time to write about so I'll just jump right in to the main event. They played a few songs and then he stopped to talk. As I stared in total awe of being in the same room as Mr. Grohl he proceeded to ask if anyone had been to one of their shows before. Some cheered, but quite a few were silent. Then he asked how many Foo Fighter virgins were out there, and we all screamed. He was quiet for a bit and said, wow, that's a lot.... Where the f*** have you guys been the past SIXTEEN YEARS????? I mean, you couldn't even make it out to ONE show?!?! And with that hilarious sarcastic comment I knew right then that he became my all time favorite artist. Sarcasm is my middle name so obviously me and Dave are a match made in heaven!

So we rocked, and we rocked hard, and it came time for the show to end. They walked off stage where they had just given an epic performance and I couldn't believe it was over. For the last 2 hours I had turned into a giddy little girl, screaming and dancing with every song and I loved every minute of it! Every. single. second. 

All of a sudden there was Dave, with a night vision camera, looking at the crowd from the big screen. He motioned that he couldn't quite hear his adoring fans screams, so we all screamed louder, not wanting the night to end. He held up one finger, and acted as if they were coming back out. We went crazy. Then there was the drummer, motioning they should do not one, but two songs! We screamed even louder. This charade went on until finally they got up to EIGHT! An 8 song encore? Unheard of, and completely amazing!

In total they played for three hours, best $100 I've ever spent on a concert and I will always see them when they are in town. Now, for some crappy camera pics:

The Friday before the concert was my last day in my old department, so they got me a card:

And when I flipped it over, I found this:

Mike made fun of me for liking FF and would always sing that song anytime he saw me. (Don't worry, I gave him trouble for his fav band being Radiohead!) So it was only appropriate that he write that on my card, and make my day :)

New Job!

I've been with my current employer for a little over two years now. I spent my first year working for their in house trustee and then my second year has been spent on their affidavit team. It's pretty hard to get out of your current department unless you know someone, or at the very least know someone who knows someone.

I love what I do now. I love my firms, and the state that I'm assigned to work. I love that I can come in, do my job, and leave and I know what I do forwards and backwards. That being said, when you don't even get so much as a 'Thank You', I feel like no one cares about the hard work I do, the fact that I have built up relationships with our attorneys and never fail audits. Things just kept getting worse, we were told we have to do 'x' amount of affidavits a day, on top of adding a ton of new processes that slow us down, but the real kicker is that we had an opening for a lead in our department and I realized that I would never get it because I don't feel like I should kiss butt to get it. I would want it based on my skill, and knowledge of the job, not because I'm buddies with the boss and that's when I decided I wanted to leave.

I applied for probably 15 jobs, interviewed for 2, got offered 1 and turned it down because they wouldn't give me a raise. Immediately following me turning down the job,  I completely regretted my decision. Well regret no more people! The lady that offered me a job created a new position that I applied for, interviewed for, and got (with a raise!)! WOOHOO!

I'm totally petrified to start in a brand new position, knowing next to nothing about what the department does, however, I am excited at the thought of expanding my work experience and building my resume. I officially start on Monday and I'm over-the-moon excited!

Welp, I got it!

I love it! It's perfect! The day after I got it I caught a guy reading it on the elevator and he smiled. Seriously, how can you read it and NOT smile?

Anyways, I was just going to run to this shop I've gotten a few things done at that's only about 15 minutes away. So I'm telling the girls at work about my plans and they said "You heard what happened to that place, right?" Nope, sure hadn't and on my search I found this little article. Basically this guy put a camera in the bathroom! This dude pierced my nose and sat in on one of my tattoos, totally creepy!

Upon finding that out, I set out to find another tattoo shop. My first tattoo was at this place called Threshold but they aren't my favorite because a lot of younger 'look at how cool I am for getting my belly button pierced' kids go there. I decided it was either wait for my tattoo (not gonna happen) or go back to Threshold and endure the torture of teenage coolness. Obviously I went back, got tattooed by the owner who is a super cool dude and could not be more happy with the results!

Of course, now I can't wait for more :)

Tattoos

I think there's still a stigma associated with tattoos today. Once my mom found out I had tattoos she told me I was a disappointment, and no, I'm not kidding! At that time I only had two, and they were both hidden. The next one I got was one on my foot, which is easily hidden as well but once I started getting them on my arms I started to worry that people would notice my tattoos and judge before even knowing what they mean to me.

After explaining to my mom what my tattoos mean to me, she actually told me that she really liked the owl I got and is now considering getting one herself. For those who don't know her, it's kinda a big deal. She went from calling me a biker chick to now wanting to join the dark side!

One thing I struggle with is what the Bible says about tattoos. I think a lot of what the Bible says is up for interpretation and to prove my point, just look at how the different religions interpret the same story. I think this article really explained a lot to me and how I view my choice to get a tattoo.

Tattoo #1 - location - hip: For my first tattoo I just walked in and picked out something on the wall. A butterfly, and while it's just a plain black tattoo and not really all that fancy it now represents a time in my life when I was free. While I didn't give this tattoo as much though as the ones to follow I don't regret getting it. It still has meaning, and a memory tied to it.

Tattoo #2 - location - hip: A safety pin. I think this is the hardest for people to understand, and that's A-OK with me. However, since you can't see it I rarely ever have to explain myself on this one. I got this tattoo when things weren't very pretty in my life. To me, it's a constant reminder that I can hold myself together. All by myself. I don't need to rely on anyone else to make my life enjoyable, I do that all on my own. With my attitude and outlook on life I can always find something positive.

Tattoo #3 - location - foot:

You can't really see it very well but it's the best picture I have :(

I'm really not a fan of names/dates tattooed on me (and I must admit, on anyone else either :blush:), so coming up with a way to represent significant people in my life is sometimes challenging. One night, while Pat was in college I had him just start doodling on my stomach (which was much flatter back then LOL). He came up with this design that almost looks like crop circles, and we put his brand in the middle.

Tattoo #4 - location - wrist:

My penguin I got for Pat the Christmas before we got married. He also got the word 'penguin' tattooed underneath his wedding ring. The meaning here is pretty simple, penguins mate for life, we are each other's penguins and will be together forever :)

Tattoo #5 - location - forearm:

This tattoo is for Kimber. Once we started a night-time routine I would stick to it. We'd get ready for bed, have a bottle and then I'd rock her to sleep. Most nights we were rocking for 4-ish hours and I was only finally able to put her in bed around midnight. Thus, I started calling her my little night owl and since she's a little girl I got the feathers filled in with pink.

Tattoo #6 (coming soon): I'm getting the phrase 'you were born to be loved' tattooed in the below font:

I think I will be getting it on my other forearm because I am so in love with the font and the words, I kind of want them bigger. This tattoo will have a lot of meaning to me. It's a constant reminder to me, and really applies to everyone. I don't know why I find that phrase so meaningful but I do. To me, it has a huge impact and in a world where kids often get depressed/bullied/eating disorders etc I want to remind my children of this everyday. I love them, Pat loves them, and one day they will have a spouse that loves them too. We seriously were all born to be loved, we go out and look for it and spend the rest of our lives loving other people.

Even though I worry that some people may judge me for my tattoos it will never prevent me from getting more. Bottom line, my tattoos are for me and no one else. They all signify something important to me, or a time in my life and if someone were to judge me before even knowing what they mean then that makes me feel kind of sorry for them. I know they won't look great when I'm all old and wrinkly, but it doesn't really bother me. They represent my life, and I love being able to express certain moments or honor certain people through them.

Vent? Here? Why not :)

Blah, I super hate reading grumpy posts so if you're like me you may want to tune out on this one. I just need a little time to vent, get it all out, and move on and what better place to do it than here?

This week has just been crap from day one. Monday I got back from vacation only to find that not one single person covered my desk and I am now swamped! We had training on how to do every state's affidavits so I'm not understanding why they couldn't of been handed out to the team for just one week, I don't think that's too much to ask. Seriously almost in tears, and you know why? Because I freakin care! I care that these things have just sat there for a week since I was gone. I felt like I couldn't take vacation because no one can help me out, and it felt like crap! Luckily I have the best daughter on the planet and she was still able to make me smile that night.

Rewind to the week before I went on vacation. We were told we have to do mandatory 5 hours of overtime a week. So now, I'm working from 6:30 to 4 and I wouldn't be complaining, except for the above mentioned kiddo I have to take care of. I really do not enjoy trying to rush out of the house to try to drop her off at the sitter's by 6, only to not be able to pick her up until 4:15. By the time I get home I only get to see her for 90 minutes until it's bedtime.. but hold that thought... As of yesterday we are expected to work 8 hours of OT! EIGHT!?!?!? So that would basically mean I would need to work 3 - 10 hour days and 2 - 9 hour days, which then in turn means that on my 10 hour days I would see Kimber for 30 minutes... The 30 minutes it takes to do her night-time routine. I'm sorry, but I have a pretty big issue with that.

My job is no longer my life. I enjoy what I do and give my all while I'm there, however, I think taking 40 hours a week away from my kid is enough. Please don't make me give up 8 more hours a week with her! I love her way too much. That's 8 hours of hugs and kisses, discovering and exploring, playing and snuggling and I don't know that I can give that up.

Now for the part that makes this all even that much worse. The part that made me cry last night. I had an opportunity to get out of this department.... and I turned it down... Bottom line, momma needs a raise. We're doing just fine right now, but if I want another kid in the near future I need a bigger raise than the annual one we get so I was going to switch departments, get more money, and it would be a win win. They didn't offer me more money, and thus, I turned the job down. I know it was the right thing to do because I would of been stuck in the new department for a year making the same amount I do now, and to be honest, I really do like my job. Even knowing I made the right decision, now it seems so wrong to of stayed. Now that they are taking away time with my family, which to me is worth more than any amount of money.

So that's where I'm at right now, it's not pretty, but hey, no one said being a working mom would be pretty! Fingers crossed things will work out because I don't know how I'm going to be able to juggle all this...

5 Things

I thought I'd do a random post that might be kinda fun.

5 Things I Love

(other than family)

Seriously, how hot is the cast of Vampire Diaries?

1. House, no not my house, the show House. Along with Vampire Diaries and The Voice. There are a few other recorded things we watch but right now those 3 are my must see during the week.

2. Nice weather. I'm talkin 73 degrees, no humidity kind of days. I'm not a lover of heat so I wouldn't be sad if summer was the season that STL passed over instead of spring!

3. My job.... most days. Everyone has those days where they're ready to just walk out and say forget it, but (for the most part) I enjoy what I do. I get to work with numbers a little and basically audit stuff. I also enjoy getting on the phone with the attorneys we deal with and learning new things. Other than the fact I wish I was paid more, I'd say I'm 90% happy with where I'm at.

4. I'm obsessed! I love me some Coke Zero. Only out of a can though... once they started carrying it as a fountain soda I was super excited but after tasting it, nothing compares to a nice cold CAN of Zero. 

5. Doing crafty stuff. I haven't really done much crafty stuff since our wedding and that was over 2 years ago. Maybe that's why I've already started making some of Kimber's first birthday decorations! 

5 Things I Dislike

1. Sorry, not a cat lover.... at all. Especially after having a litter of kittens living under our front porch. Not a fan! Plus, they smell, or at least their litter box does... yuck!

2. Stretch marks. Let me explain. Normally I am not a fan of mom's complaining about weight and/or stretch marks they've gained along the way... You housed another human being for crying out loud, give yourself a break! Now, am I glad I got them, no. Do I wish they would just vanish, yes. Am I going to try every scheme to get them to disappear? No. Bottom line though, I'm okay with them... the only ones that even bother me are the ones I got on the back of my leg, behind my knee (my legs swelled REAL bad) and the ONLY reason I am a tad bit perturbed by them is that I love capris, and even though I'm okay with my stretch marks, I do not want to go around showing them off.... and thus, my love for capris has ended.... sadly...

3. Home renovations. I LOVE how our bathroom turned out, however, the time it took to get it looking like that was 3 times longer than we thought it would take. Plus it's super expensive. I guess this is on my mind because we have to finish the basement, re-do the kitchen and living area, and turn the 'bedroom' back into a garage before we have another kid. Or at least that's the plan.... in a perfect world...

4. Lady Gaga. Enough said.

5. Yep, this girl does NOT like her veggies. I'll eat raw carrots, green beans, and lettuce but anything other than that and I'm OUT!

5 Things I Cannot Live Without

1. My phone. Dumb, I know, but it's how I stay in contact with people. Whether it's Facebook, blogger, text messaging, phone calls, or e-mails it's my lifeline. 

2. Pledge, Scrubbing Bubbles, and 409. Oh and Windex. I will buy the off brand on just about anything, but not my cleaning supplies. It's the one thing I'm pretty picky about.

3. Tattoos. I love them, and I want more.

4. My camera. I love documenting Kimber growing up... as you can tell from my five million pictures of her on my Facebook account.

5. My husband and daughter. I know that if I ever lost either one of them I wouldn't be able to go on. Just the thought of not having one of them around brings tears to my eyes. They are my life, my world, the reason I get up everyday, the people that make me want to be a better person, and I love them with every inch of my being.

My first Mother's Day!!!!!

Last weekend was CRAZY!!! Friday night at Kimber's bedtime we drove to Ottawa, KS for Jon's graduation. We got in around 11 and Jon & Rae came over and played with Kimber. Surprisingly Kimber went right back to sleep. We got up and headed to graduation brunch. Can I just say that they made this french toast stuff that looked kinda like monkey bread... it was amazing! I wish I knew how to make it... but I digress...

Then it was time for graduation. Kimber wanted to talk... during the prayer so we left to go to the cry room which we were told would have a tv with the graduation on. Well of course they couldn't get the tv working so there we sat, just me and Kimber. Wanna know why? Kimber scared all the other kids/parents out of the room!

It was like we were in freakin detention. Boring!!! Luckily Daddy came in and we both took her to play outside. So much for seeing the brother in law graduate!

Pretty sure she would of eaten that cup if we'd of let her!

So after graduation we were going to get her to take a nap, have dinner with Jon and Rae and make the 4 hour drive back home at Kimber's bedtime again. Well, that plan went to crap real quick! Pat put her to sleep, then my MIL's dog started barking and it woke her up. Then I spent probably 30 minutes putting her back to sleep only to have Pat's grandma's dog bark and wake her up. At that point I said that we were leaving and packed Kimber up at 5 and headed home. You know, she fell asleep at 5:30, slept the whole way home, when we got home at 10 we fed her and she went back to sleep until 7:30 the next morning. I'm gonna say she was tired!

Sunday was my first 'official' Mother's Day (Pat says being pregnant last year really doesn't count). Kimber and Pat gave me cards (we're going to get scrap booking stuff later), MIL gave me a Teething Bling necklace that I love! Seriously, if you have a teething baby go check them out! Jon and Rae got me this really cool bracelet, a huge bottle of Jaeger, and bath salts. I'd say I made out pretty well.

Kimber was in a particularly good mood that morning, and her gift to me? A TWO HOUR NAP!!!

After the epic nap we went over to my aunt's house to lunch/dinner. It's nice to have the five generations together. When we got home I told Pat I wanted some pictures of Kimber and I. Kimber did not want to cooperate, she cried, and cried, and cried some more. Oh well, we still took pictures:

My perfect ending to the perfect 1st Mother's Day:

Hope everyone else had a fantastic Mother's Day!!!