baby fever

I thought Kimber would help sooth my baby fever but she has just made it worse! I told Pat tonight that it was a good thing I had a c-section and we now have to wait a year because I already want to be pregnant again! I mean, look at this face:

As much as I want to be pregnant again, I still never want to actually have another baby. I'm still terrified that I will have the exact same experience, and I don't know that I'm strong enough to go through that twice. (I'm going to post my birth story here but need to sit down with Pat since I don't remember a lot of the details.) I thought I had it all figured out, I wanted to wait until baby #1 was like 2 before we had another one... now I'm counting down the days until our year of waiting is up! Realistically I doubt we will start trying that soon, but I guess you just never know!

Ugh I just love her! And my love for her almost makes me forget what I went through, but it definitely makes it worth it. I love that she is all smiles in the morning, I love when she stops eating to look at me with a huge grin on her face, I love watching her discover her hands, I even love that most of the time she does not wake up gracefully... it's kind of comical and she's totally like her mom in that respect. Neither one of us likes to wake up from naps :)

On top of all this new found love for this little creature I made, I love love love watching Pat be a dad. Ohhh be still my heart!

Christmas time is almost here!!!

I think this year I want to start our own little family tradition. In the past years Pat and I exchanged gifts Christmas Eve when we got off work, then headed over to my aunt's house for Christmas with my side of the family. Christmas Day we went to my mom's in the morning, since my brother and sister are still kind of young, opened presents and then headed over to Pat's parent's, then to Pat's grandma's.... whew! Talk about exhausting!

This year is obviously Kimber's first Christmas, and even though she is wayyy too young to know what is going on I would like to start our own little family thing on Christmas morning. I'm thinking big breakfast, gifts, and then watching some sort of Christmas movie. When I used to go to bio-dad's Christmas we would watch Christmas Family Vacation so that option is out :) I'm thinking maybe Grinch Stole Christmas, Charlie Brown,  It's a Wonderful Life, or A Christmas Carol... I just can't decide!

And I must share our little one's stocking:


I love it! And I cannot wait for Christmas!!!

Bedtime woes

I'm at a loss as to what to do about bedtime. I need to start doing some research to see if there are any tricks out there that can help. We have no consistent pattern throughout the day or at night and after over 7 weeks I'm getting tired. I fell into the baby led scheduling so basically whenever she cries we eat, when she's tired we sleep and apparently that isn't working out too well.

Last night I decided that we were going to start a semi-routine for bedtime. At 8:30 I fed her a bottle in her room and about half way through she started screaming. I'm guessing she is fighting sleep since she was being fed, her diaper was new, and she had already burped. It took about a hour to finish the bottle and get her to stop screaming. Finally a little after 9:30 she was asleep and I was soo excited at the thought of going to bed before midnight!!! As soon as I got into bed at 9:45 she was awake and screaming so I would go in, calm her down, get her to go back to sleep and then crawl into bed. Every time she would start crying again, and we did this game until a little after 11. It is so tiring trying to comfort a screaming baby on and off for 3ish hours, and it is beyond frustrating that she is sound asleep until you put her in her crib.

Today I thought I could put her for naps in her crib so that she would get used to sleeping in there so at 1 I put her down because she had just fallen asleep, and now twenty after one and I'm listening to her talk to herself in her crib... ahhh!!! Most days it is hard for me to find time to even take a shower because as soon as she falls asleep and I put her down, she is awake again. Maybe I need to start parent led scheduling???

Wishing...

I really wish this meant we are going to be ready for bed soon, but Kimber and I both know we will be up till midnight... Boo...

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