baby fever

I thought Kimber would help sooth my baby fever but she has just made it worse! I told Pat tonight that it was a good thing I had a c-section and we now have to wait a year because I already want to be pregnant again! I mean, look at this face:

As much as I want to be pregnant again, I still never want to actually have another baby. I'm still terrified that I will have the exact same experience, and I don't know that I'm strong enough to go through that twice. (I'm going to post my birth story here but need to sit down with Pat since I don't remember a lot of the details.) I thought I had it all figured out, I wanted to wait until baby #1 was like 2 before we had another one... now I'm counting down the days until our year of waiting is up! Realistically I doubt we will start trying that soon, but I guess you just never know!

Ugh I just love her! And my love for her almost makes me forget what I went through, but it definitely makes it worth it. I love that she is all smiles in the morning, I love when she stops eating to look at me with a huge grin on her face, I love watching her discover her hands, I even love that most of the time she does not wake up gracefully... it's kind of comical and she's totally like her mom in that respect. Neither one of us likes to wake up from naps :)

On top of all this new found love for this little creature I made, I love love love watching Pat be a dad. Ohhh be still my heart!