Is definitely NOT what I thought it would be like.
It's funny how you think you have everything planned out as an expecting mother. I was going to have her on a set schedule and she would for sure be sleeping through the night by the time I went back to work. She would never sleep in our bed with us and her naps would be at set times throughout the day. I had it all figured out.
And then she came... And my whole world was turned upside down.
I don't remember much of the first month regarding her sleeping. I was on a nice combination of pain meds plus lack of sleep resulted in me being in robot mode. I do remember a couple times waking up to her crying and I was all tangled up in my wound vac cord and the charger plugged into the wall and crying from frustration at the situation. It sucked!
Things got a little better and she was falling into a groove. We would wake up twice a night to eat. Not too shabby since I was able to sleep in, as long as she allowed, of course. Then maternity leave was over and I dreaded having to function at work on broken sleep. At that time she was getting up around 2 am or so to eat but it would take us quite a while to get her down for the night. We bumped up her bedtime to 7 pm and that helped with the struggle of getting her to go to sleep.
Currently things have totally changed. We put her to bed at 7 and she wakes up between 9 and 10 to eat again, then she wakes up between 2 and 4 and we bring her in bed with us and she sleeps until I wake her up to get ready. If we are really super lucky, all the planets are aligned, and we wish on a shooting star she will sleep from the 9/10 pm feeding all the way through the night.
I'm constantly torn on what is the 'right' thing to do. Should I bring her in bed? Should I let her cry for a few minutes? Should I go in and rock her back to sleep? Should I go ahead and feed her again? If I bring her in bed with us will she be sleeping with us still when she's 5? If I let her cry for a few minutes does she feel abandoned? If I rock her to sleep will she know when she cries I will come pick her up? If I feed her again will she ever sleep through the night? These questions play in my head every night and I don't think there is one right answer. In the end, you do what you have to do, what you think is right, and what works for your family.